My 10 year old was sitting next to me the other day and he grabbed my left hand. He lifted it up and closely examined my ring.  He was quick to point out that there was a speck in my diamond.  I explained that diamonds all have imperfections or flaws and this is what makes them unique.   *Let me just throw in a disclaimer for the sake of my husband…..He gave me a new ring last year for our 15 year wedding anniversary and let’s just say that the ring does NOT look flawed and he did VERY well! ( Thanks Luv!)

Just as our son noticed the tiny speck in something so beautiful, I thought of how often we do the same thing.  Why are we so quick to pick out the imperfections in ourselves and others?!  I am so guilty of this!  We are all beautiful in our Maker’s eyes as He knit each one of us together in our mother’s womb.  There are no two of us exactly alike- even identical twins have unique personalities and traits.  Why does it take such effort to see the beauty in our whole self?  The scars, stretchmarks, freckles, and blemishes on the outside and the insecurity, impatience, jealousy, and selfishness on the inside.  These are just a few imperfections, but I bet we can quickly name many more if given the chance.

In our world, almost everything is viewed as more valuable and more expensive, the more perfect it appears.   The clearer the stone, the more authentic the material, the model perfect flawless women or man- these things are viewed as more desirable and worth more than the rest.

Thank the Lord that He doesn’t view things the same way we do!! The more messed up and imperfect we are, the more grace we are given!  There is nothing we can do to our outward appearance or our inward efforts to be any more valuable in God’s eyes!  Unconditional love- wholehearted; unqualified; unreserved; unlimited; unrestricted; unquestioning; complete; total; unequivocal- this is the kind of love our God has for His children!

I am convinced our Heavenly Father looks down from Heaven and sees us just as we are in His image and exactly the way He created each one of us to be! Not as we see ourselves at any given moment, but as His Holy and absolutely perfect creation!

This year as I blow out my candles to a new decade- my 40’s!!- I hope to be better at seeing myself and others as the Author of Life sees us…fearfully and wonderfully made!

With love-  April

Isaiah 64:8   But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.

As I have been unexpectedly thrown into this next phase of parenting 2 middle schoolers, I can boldly say- I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!! This phase has shown up and screamed at my face that I am losing control of my babies!  I am missing the days of having my kids nestled under the safe wings of my protection- when I chose play dates based on the mom’s I knew and trusted, and had reassurance that my kids were protected from pornographic content when their depth of technology didn’t reach beyond Micky Mouse Clubhouse or Looney Tunes! I could cry a river of tears over this and the world our kids are growing up in, and sometimes I do! But what this new phase of parenting is showing me most, is that now more than ever- they need some good ole “Mamas prayers!”

I have had no choice but to let my 2 older kiddos spread their wings and fly a little with this move across the country.  They are in a new middle school with a blank slate of friends.  It has been a challenge for them to navigate the throws of this awkward transition.  To make new friendships with kids who are like minded and kindly veer away from those who are not.  We have had many talks about them being the light and leaders in their schools.  But when our 6^th grader came home week after week telling us of the filth he was hearing and how he couldn’t get away from it, I began praying very specifically for the Lord to show him a way out!

God never ceases to amaze me as prayers are answered in ways that only He can! My son was moved into a few higher level classes and is no longer uncomfortable with the peers he is around! I fully believe that if we don’t pray in all the little details of our kids lives, it becomes easy to miss the Lord’s guidance and mistake His provision or protection as mere chance.

I am grateful their Heavenly Father is present in this new independent phase my two older kids are beginning.  I am learning to trust them to listen to the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudge when they veer off the path His best for them does not entail.  At the same time I am praying for forgiveness and grace to help me parent them back onto the course God has planned for their lives.

Do not be afraid to pray in all the seemingly little moments or details of your kids days!! I am discovering that the more life change or complexity we have to our story- the more opportunities we have to lift our voice to Heaven and seek the Maker of Life!! If we believe God holds the whole world in His hands, then why wouldn’t we trust Him to work out all the details of our children’s lives?! Parenting is just a whole lot easier when we know God Is On Our Side!

With Love-   April

2 Timothy 2:22     So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

 

One perfect love- Does it even exist? From the time I can remember, I dreamed of this quest that seemed would make life complete.  The fairytale love story where the handsome prince would sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after!

I thought I had found this true love when my husband and I said our vows and our souls became one.  But being human means that we are both imperfect, and quickly the fairy tale became tainted with selfishness, pride, and heartache.  There was a time when our marriage was hanging by a thread-almost sold for a cheap price by lies of the enemy.  But the beautiful thing about marriage is that there is always hope when God is involved!

The saving grace of our Lord mended what was broken, and what now remains is even stronger than when it first began.  Nothing short of a miracle really.  We will forever be grateful to be standing on the side that scathed the brokenness of failed vows- fully acknowledging that we would never have made it without grace, forgiveness, and allowing Jesus Christ to be the center of our marriage.

My definition of true love changed during the process of my wounds being healed.  It was in my heartache and brokenness that I fell in love with Jesus.  I depended on Him for my very breath as I fought through those many days of darkness.  A place I never wish to return to- and yet the same place that helped to mold my faith into what it is today.   A place that has also given me compassion towards those that lurk near the doorway of this broken path or wallow in hopelessness the enemy tries to convince them they are in.

I want to say to anyone who has lost hope in marriage- that there is one perfect love for ALL of us!! A love so real that He is said to BE LOVE! A love that will never disappoint, hurt, betray, or fall out of.  A love that sent His one and only son Jesus to live a perfect life on this earth- yet die an unjust death just to give us a chance at spending eternity with Him!  It is because of His perfect love that my husband and I have been able to love greater!  True love was not meant to be about what we get in this life, but rather what we give.

I am thankful that our marriage has been made perfect through our imperfections because of our One True Love- Jesus!

With Love-  April

Colossians 3:12-14      Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 

 

As I was deleting e mails from this past year, I came across several from last summer that took me on a little trip back in time.  E mails from our realtor about our home being listed, quotes from moving companies and pet relocation agencies, listings of houses we liked, airline confirmations from Phx to Charlotte… I was left in awe as I reflected back to these moments during a time that was a whirlwind of life change!

As we now sit on this side of the plans that were being made last summer, I was reminded of the Lord’s goodness and how He has carried us through them! I thank Him daily for the place He has brought us to in this new season we are in.  But to actually reflect back into moments of time when we were in the midst of a whirlwind of stress and emotion, it was a gift!!

God is so good! -yet often the little miracles He provides go un-noticed as they get swept up into the pile of “to do’s” or just simply missed in our preoccupations of where we are currently at.  It is in these moments of reflection where He gives us a gift wrapped up in reminders of where we once were and appreciation for how far we have come.

The Lord cares about our journey as much as He cares about our destination.  He is in all of our moments- and I don’t want to ever take for granted His presence and His companionship along the way.  Even in life’s pain I believe we can always look back and see God’s goodness around and through it.  He brings beauty out of the ashes just the same as He brings joy from answered prayer.  The process it takes to get from one to the next, is all a part of the refinement of our faith.

Don’t ever be afraid to look back in life’s review mirror and reflect on the process.  The Lord will reveal to you His gifts he provided that may have been missed along the way.

With love –   April

 

1 Corinthians 13:12 (MSG)

We don’t yet see things clearly.  We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

 

Our country that was founded on Christian principles lies on the fence of  moral uncertainty.  Our religious freedom in America has become more threatened than ever before. The media plays both sides of the campaign to their bias, depending on which network one chooses to follow.  And social media rages with individual opinion and emotion.

All I have discovered in this age of fear, hatred, and moral decline is that our country and our world needs prayer more than ever!! The Lord is the ONLY one who can change hearts and heal the division our nation sits in!  As believers- WE KNOW WHO WINS THE BATTLE IN THE END!! But unfortunately until then, we need to do OUR part in fighting this spiritual battle and get on our knees!! This is my prayer today as I seek peace in the uncertainty…..

 

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation-

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life-

Of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me

To devour my flesh

When my enemies and my foes attack me

They will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me

My heart will not fear

Though war break out against me

Even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord

This is what I seek;

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord

All the days of my life

To gaze upon the beauty of the Lord

And to seek him in his temple;

For in the day of trouble

He will keep me safe in his dwelling;

He will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

And set me high upon a rock

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me

At his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;

I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, O Lord;

Be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me

Do not turn your servant away in anger;

You have been my helper.

Do not reject me nor forsake me,

O God my savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me,

The Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way O Lord;

Lead me in a straight path

Because of my oppressors

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,

For false witnesses rise up against me,

Breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this;

I will see the goodness of the Lord

In the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and take heart

And wait for the Lord!

 

 

With Love-   April

These past several months we have been on auto pilot as we cruised through the motions of picking up our lives in Az and moving everything  2000 miles across the country!  I was surprisingly numb up until the days became numbered and I knew that life as we had known it was about to change!  As we spent our last days and then hours with family and friends, I was warmed with the realization that all of the tears  only came  out of love.  I was overwhelmed with incredible gratefulness  for the circle of family and friends that were so deeply embedded into our lives!

Working through my own emotions on this roller coaster ride of life change has been miniscule compared to worrying about how our kids will handle it all. My husband and I  laid awake many nights discussing and planning for the Big Reveal. Overall, the news was taken pretty well.   We knew that our oldest who is 13 would probably struggle the most, as making new friends isn’t on the wishlist of most girls this age.  We had taken the kids with us for a house hunting trip in Charlotte a few weeks before the final decent.  As we sat at the airport waiting to fly back to Phx, I looked over and noticed our daughter reading her Bible.  It was such a bitter sweet moment, seeing her spend time with her Heavenly Father among the hustle and bustle of the airport, but as her mama- knowing she was doing more than just reading!  My baby girl was seeking comfort from the pages that lie on her lap.  It was so hard not to walk over and give her a hug… to tell her that everything was going to be ok.  But a voice inside me whispered for me to let Him have a moment with her-  for only He could give her what she was truly needing.

It is one of the hardest things as a parent, watching your kids navigate through life’s changes, heartache, and struggles- and not be able to just throw a band aid on it  and make it all better! 13 years into this ride, I am learning that sometimes they have to go through things in order to grow.  How relevant a lesson this is as God’s children ourselves. He hears our cries, our requests, and knows our every need.  But sometimes I believe He intentionally allows us to remain where we are because it is during moments like these that we draw near to Him. The Lord gives us just what we need in those sweet moments of prayer as He fills our spirit with His peace.  A quiet comfort that only comes when we sit still before Him.  He knows that instant answers are not always what is best.  The refinement and faith comes from the trials and the endurance.  “These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.  So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” 1 Peter 1:7

So my prayer as a mom is to learn when to intervene in my children’s struggles, and when to sit back and simply pray!! Sometimes I envision my hands held open as I surrender my greatest blessings to Him.  Their Heavenly Father is their most valuable source of strength and direction, and it is up to us to teach them how to go to Him during ALL of life’s moments by watching us do the same in ours.

With Love-    April

Proverbs 22:6   Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

An open door.   As we sit on the other side of this open door we prayed about, it feels like a free fall straight off a cliff!  In my prayers about this move, I had imagined standing at the top of a mountain with a closed door before us.  I had said to the Lord if this was His will and He opened the door, we would jump with open arms in great faith- trusting Him to work out all of the details that lie ahead.  Man I had no idea how hard that would be!!

The other night I had this dream.  It was like the Apocalypse or something.  In my dream, I awoke in bed to the doorbell ringing.  As I looked at the clock I realized it was 1:30 am so I tried calling 911 in fear of why someone would be frantically ringing our doorbell at this hour in the morning.  The line was disconnected.  As I peeked out the window, I saw this immense crater right outside the front door of our house.  The black hole was everywhere though.  Somehow I realized that as you jumped into this abyss, you would die and go to Heaven.  The world was ending all around us as the earth was caving in on itself!!  My husband and I and our 4 kids were scurrying around trying to find all of our family members and I remember walking with our youngest who is 7- as he and I climbed down this set of stadium stairs where the crater opened up at the bottom.  My son confidently let go of my hand at the end of the stairs, and as I tried to grab him in immense fear, he turned to me and calmly yelled, “I’m going to see Jesus!”  I stood helpless as I watched him jump without a flinch….childlike faith.  I was trying to find my husband as I ran around sharing Jesus with those all around me, and this realization suddenly hit me.  This was like my prayers for the open door.  We were standing at the top of this scary cliff and all we had to do was hold hands and jump- trusting God to work out the details!!

Crazy dream I know!!  But how relevant of a reminder it was to me that even after prayers are answered, the Lord wants us to continue to trust Him and remember that He is in control!  It is easy to say that we trust Him in the midst of life’s craziness-  but to actually let go and surrender to Him in all of lifes’ moments….that is the struggle.  Many details of this life changing move have been altered when a prayer for one thing has gone unanswered and instead the Lord has answered in His own way.  So far His way has been better than our way every single time! God’s ways are ALWAYS best!!  If only I would just keep my hands open in sweet surrender and allow God to be God!  To trust Him and have the faith of a child….never questioning, never doubting, just Jump!

With Love-   April

Luke 18:17   Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

 

There have been many emotions swirling around these past few months as the possibility for change was laid before us.  It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least, as the “Maybe this or that’s”, and the “What if’s” became a prominent topic of conversation between my husband and I.  Life is about change.  A lesson I have grown to have a love/hate relationship with at times.  My personality thrives on structure and a schedule.  It has been this way as long as I can remember.  But I can also say as the years pass by, that I have learned to appreciate new things and experiences as well.

Change has been a prayer of ours for several years now.  Change of weather.  Change of environment.  Change of a career path.  All with some ideas of our own in mind, and yet other parts of it with effort to keep incomplete in the hands of our Father.  I very much believe that our Lord has a plan and purpose for all of His children.  But God’s word also says that He wants us to have dreams and make decisions in the context of our own free will as well.  (Of course there are boundaries in that- where we are expected to pray through life’s decisions and honor God in all we say and do.)  As we have lifted up these prayers for change, we always ended them with the request for God to “open a door” should He have a plan other than the one we were currently living.

My husband was recently offered an opportunity for change within his company, as modification and restructuring are common in the business world…. An Open Door.  With many prayers we have sought wisdom and asked for discernment from our Father, to show us His way for us in this opportunity for immense change.  A move across the country- almost as far as it can get.  Leaving a lifetime of familiar behind for my husband, who has known no other than to live in Arizona.  Almost the same for myself, as I too have lived most of my life here as well.  A sacrifice of time spent with family and friends as we have known it.  New job.  New schools.  New church.  New friends.  The list of “New’s” feels overwhelming!  Yet through it all, we have felt the hand of our Father and the peace that comes only from Him- as we are positive we are within the confines of His will for our lives.  He has gifted us with so many little signs along the way that have confirmed that this “open door” is from Him!

As we embark on this new journey, we are filled with so many different emotions!! But the continual peace we feel is allowing us to move forward with great excitement for the new journey that lies ahead for our family.  We look forward to discovering a new part of our Maker’s creation, experiencing 4 seasons for the first time, and learning to live a life we believe will be a lot slower paced in an area with a population that is miniscule in comparison to where we are now! Most importantly we are excited to live out the plans the Lord has for our family- that we know are for our good, and for His glory.

North Carolina- get ready for the Ayers family!!

With Love-    April

Jeremiah 29:11    “For I know the plans I have for you”,  declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

 

 

Motherhood has been a journey- one that I am still definitely on the highway of.  It has been one that I could have never been prepared for even if someone had given me the map before it began.  It feels at times like I am in a school zone, and the days go by slow and with caution.  But regrettably most of the journey has been at top speed, and moments have flashed by as I try hard to grab hold of the memories slipping from my grasp.

I remember being pregnant with my babies, and dreaming of holding each one in my arms.  The moment became indescribable – almost an out of body experience- that was so beautiful it stole my breath away.  I miss those 4 moments when each one of my own had been given the miraculous breath of first air that was gifted to them by their Maker.  They were given life.  Not by myself or my husband, but by a Creator that knit each one together unique, in my womb.  I will never again hold my own newborn in my arms or nurse one at my breast.  Another sweet experience that only a mother can know.  The countless diaper changes, nightly feedings, and exhaustion was worth all of the snuggles, the “firsts”, and the boundless leaps my heart did as I fell in love with each one of them.  The Lord is very wise to give us our children wrapped in the package of a beautiful baby.  He knows we cannot help but fall in love with them at first sight!

The next season entered into was the years of “No’s!”, the continued firsts, and the testing and trying of the wills!  This was a challenging one at times as each one of them became able to move about on their own, feed themselves, and begin to experience the amazing world around them. I felt myself seeing the world for the first time again, as they asked the endless question of “What’s that?” I taught them the words to each object, and answered the “Why’s” as I explained the beginnings of how their new world fit together.  The awe of watching them learn and absorb it all far outweighed the frustrations and challenges of their fights for control.

Perhaps the longest season I have been in, is the one I am in now- as they are all in the school years, and soaking up endless knowledge each day.  I am amazed at how much their little brains can learn, and it is a joy to watch them defeat many new tasks and challenges.  The things they are learning now will be those that will help them navigate through life and are preparing them to be on their own one day.  They are also learning how to be a friend, and how to work through the disappointments and heartache that come along with human relationships at times.  It is heartbreaking as they are out in the world and away from my watch, and they have each experienced the sting of the world’s cruelty in one way or another.  It is during this time that I have learned to pray fervently for their Father’s protection, and trust that when I am not with them- He is.

I was stung with the thought recently that my children are growing up, and it seems little by little I am not needed as much by them.  I was good at the years of caring for them, teaching them, and even navigating the busyness of the important schedules that I tried to keep them on.  I looked forward to helping them with homework when they came home from school- which just recently even my youngest seems to be doing pretty well on his own.  As they continue to grow more independent, they are becoming less dependent on me.  This is a hard transition to swallow for this mama bear! I guess when I dreamed of Motherhood, I never realized that the goal of it all is to raise our children to be able to spread their wings and fly one day.

My deepest desire on the other side of this journey, is for each of my children to love the Lord with all of their heart, soul, and mind.  I know He has a plan for them, and I am learning to let go of the reigns as I entrust them to Him each step of the way.  They are ultimately His, and it is an utter blessing to be called their Mom.  As I have become less needed by them physically, I am more and more needed by them spiritually.  In this difficult world we live in, it is essential that they have deep underlying morals and values.  I see that almost daily I have the opportunity to answer questions from the eyes of Jesus, and away from the ways of the world. I am teaching them like this not to be constricting or judgmental, but because God’s way is  Always what’s best for them.  My prayer is for the Lord to be so embedded in their hearts that they never lose sight of Whose they are!

I am forever grateful for my own Christian upbringing.  My Mom is an amazing Godly woman who I remember praying with us as kids, raising us up in Church, and to this day being an example of Jesus’ love and selflessness.  Thank you Mom for teaching me how to be a mom to my own precious kids!!

With Love-    April

 

Jeremiah 29:11-13     “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Proverbs 22:6   Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

When Jesus appeared to the disciples following His resurrection, the first words He spoke were, “Peace be with you.” (Luke 24:36)  Christ left us one of His greatest gifts when He gave up His life on the cross.  Peace that surpasses all understanding.  An internal overflow that surpasses the quietness and tranquility of the English definition of the word- Peace.

I have come to know this peace as my internal GPS.  When decisions weigh heavy on my soul, it is this gift that is given by the Holy Spirit that will guide us into His best.  Jesus said that unless He went away- died- the Holy Spirit would not come.  But if He did, then He would send him to us.  John 16:7 “But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away.  Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.” As believers, His Spirit lives inside us and navigates us along our paths if only we seek His direction.

This peace has also comforted me beyond impossibility in my darkest moments in life.  It was as though this calm sea washed over my innermost being, and whispered to me that I was going to be ok.  It is the peace that is seen when tragedy strikes the path of a Believer, yet there is a noticeable calmness  about them that the world cannot understand.  It is a great misunderstanding when Christians believe that they are immune and protected from all troubles.  We live in a fallen world where no man is untouched from some sort of pain, sickness, tragedy, or loss.  But Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

I am so thankful for the Spirit’s leading and comfort upon my life! I cannot imagine the hopelessness that I would feel without Him at my center.  There is no other navigation system that offers direction as well as comfort, and my prayer is for the lost He places along my path, that the Lord would shine His peace through me, and give me the courage to share His direction with them.

With love-   April

Colossians 3:15  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

I have heard the verse many times in my life, but sitting in church as I read the words on the screen this past week- it stirred me.  “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

…who for the joy set before him-  endured the cross….

It’s no great epiphany when I say that we live in a culture drowned by instant gratification.  We can look up almost anything in mere seconds with the internet, we can text and e mail others and communicate with them in a blink of an eye, make purchases that we could not otherwise make on credit cards with one swipe, and we have endless choices of food, clothing, and possessions for most of us- within a short walk or drive.  I know for me personally, I HATE to wait! Patience is something I struggle with every single day!

We live in the moment.

Endure:  to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in :  to experience (pain or suffering) for a long time.  ( A word that we rarely have to experience in our modern day America. )

We came home from church that same day, and decided to watch The Passion- being that Easter is next weekend.  It is a movie so hard to watch, and yet one we have tried to make a priority before Easter each year.  A visual reminder of what Easter is really about.  The insane amount of brutal suffering that Jesus endured is astonishing!  And the fact that the word Joy is used to describe His reason for the choice He made, is even greater!

How in the world can the word Joy precede the most violent and painful death of a man who had lived a life without a single sin?!

I believe it is because Jesus lived in the eternal and not in the moment.  He knew that not only His own eternity would be with the Father following His death, but the eternity of all who followed Him for many years to come,  also weighed on the shoulders of His decision.

As I read this verse, my heart was softened and my mind blown away, at the self- control that Jesus had to have, to go through with his death.  He did not rest his mind in the moment or become impatient with the suffering and throw in the towel,  but rather He looked towards His future, as He made the greatest decision that was ever made.  Had Jesus denied the Father’s will, we would all be left without the choice.  But because our Savior endured all the pain and suffering that was meant for us, we now get to live in- the Joy set before us!

What sacrifices do WE need to make, or better yet- Endure–  along our journeys here on this Earth, for our joy set before us?  May we live in the Eternal and not in the moment when it comes to decisions  or opportunities to endure OUR crosses for Him!

With love-  April

Philippians 3:12-14    Not that I have already obtained all this, or have been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 

    I recently had the opportunity to work several shifts in a row….something that doesn’t happen very often and actually never in the amount that I put in this past stretch!  In my field, I am blessed with the opportunity to care for others- specifically infants in the neonatal intensive care unit.  With this past stretch of days,  I cared for the same 3 babies and  I was reminded of how attached you can get when caring for these precious souls day after day.  People often ask how us “NICU” nurses how we do it.  The only way I know how to answer that is -we just do!  It comes very natural to us- especially when most of us stay in the same unit for many years.

I have to say that the hardest part of my job isn’t necessarily being witness to the physical trials and tribulations these babies go through.  Most of them end up doing just fine and it is a blessing to watch them become a gift to their parents as they carry them out of the hospital doors and into the real world.  The hardest tug on my heart is actually the social situations that often accompany many of these babes.  The one going through drug withdrawal as they were exposed in the mother’s womb the entire pregnancy, the young teen parents who have no idea how much their world has just been altered, the abusive relationships that warrant CPS to get involved prior to allowing the baby to go home, the single mom who has to figure out not only how she is going to care for herself- but this child now going home with special needs….I could go on and on.

I say all of this because I was reminded after bonding with these 3 babies, that the power of prayer may be the greatest gift I have to offer them.  It is when I hold these precious lives in my arms, that I have the opportunity to pray over them and simply trust their Heavenly Father to carry them into these situations with His loving hand.  Although I don’t have any more control over their situations than utter words, I know that the One who loves them more than me- does.  He has the power to change their circumstances and I may be the only one in their life to offer up that request to Him.

As believers, I believe we are called to pray for those who cannot pray for themselves.  Those who don’t know any better, those who have never been introduced to their Maker, and even those who may have turned their backs on Him- we need to offer them up in prayer and love them just as Jesus would- with our actions, our words, and our prayers. The Bible says that the Lord hears the prayers of the righteous, and I feel so blessed to be called one of His own!! We need to fight for the unseen battle that is going on every day, and the enemy would like nothing more than for us to go on grumbling with so many others about how hopeless our world is and how helpless we are to change any of it.  This is a lie!! The One who lives in us is greater than he who is in the world,  and we need to lift up all of those along our paths in prayer, and believe that although we may not have the power to change things, the God of the Universe does!

With Love-  April

James 5:16-  Therefore, confess your sins to each ther and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

1 John 4:4-  You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

When I hear the word ‘favor’, I immediately feel an uneasiness.  I most often hear it in the context of a question.  “Hey, can you do me a favor?”  An instant hesitancy stirs up as I wait to hear how much of me will be demanded when the “favor” is laid out there.  Yes there are times when I am happy to do someone a favor, but more often than not- if I am honest-my willingness lies in contingency with whatever is being requested. Many times this word also holds an unsaid expectation.  If I do a favor for you, my hope is that a favor will be returned for me.

If you are around church for any length of time, you will most likely hear a message on or at least read about God’s favor in the Bible.  What I love about our Maker is that we are made in His image, but He so amazes me at His character that far surpasses ours! He doesn’t give like we give.  He doesn’t love like we love.  And His definition of favor is not like ours either.  God gives us favor in the form of a  free gift! As all of the Lord’s gifts to His children are, He gives us divine favor- freely– through grace!  The Bible talks about God’s favor as a gift that the He gives, simply because we are His!  His favor is full of protection, provision, blessing, and abundance.  And the beauty of this gift is that it is released to us when we believe in His promises and proclaim them over our lives.  There is no payback or debt owed with the Lord.  Jesus already paid that price for us on the Cross!

God’s favor is mentioned countless times throughout the Bible- the common denominator in His favor being- faith.  Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Noah, Abel, David, Solomon, Job, Paul, Mary, Jesus, and many others- received God’s favor because they had Great Faith! We will never have the Lord’s favor without it!  But how amazing a gift it is, when we believe in His power and promise to pour favor over our lives and receive the bounty of our Most High King!!

With love-  April

Psalm 5:12-  For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Proverbs 8:35-  For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord.

 

 

    I was feeling grateful the other day for my relationship with the Lord.  It is amazing how He has become my best friend over the past few years.  It wasn’t always this way.  I have known Him my whole life but for the most part He was kept at a distance.  Just sort of there when I needed Him to be, and tucked away when I thought I was doing ok on my own.  In fact as I have shared before, it wasn’t until I was brought to my knees in my greatest despair that my Heavenly Father became my everything.

I had the privilege during that time to cross paths with an angel.  A providential meeting.  One of my close friends introduced her friend to me that had been through a similar experience.  When she was sharing how the Lord had gotten her through those impossible days, she asked me a question I will never forget.  “Are you in love with Jesus?”  I found the question a bit strange.  I had never thought of being “in love” with Him….to me, “in love” meant love in a romantic sense.  She went on to share what she meant by this.  She too had been knocked to her knees only a few months prior, and she had only survived the pain when she got to know her Savior like she had never been given the chance to before.  She spent what seemed like every waking moment- reading God’s word, journaling, praying, and spending time with Him.  Yes she had children to care for and a life that went on, but she was in such a dark place that she depended on Him to carry her through each day.  It was during this time that she fell in love with Jesus.  The One she depended on to meet her every need.

I was given hope that day, as I had met the strongest women I had ever known.  I had witnessed her on this side of her pain and suddenly the impossible seemed possible.  I saw Hope, and I wanted that chance.  Over the next several days, weeks, and months- I poured out my pain at the feet of My Father.  I read the Bible every day and wrote down the endless promises from Him that He would heal my heart. Those were the hardest days I had ever endured, yet His presence was the only thing that kept me going.

As I now too sit on this side of the things, I can say with my whole heart and soul- that I am in love with Jesus.  He is the one who I talk to about everything.  Just like an ongoing relationship  you would have with a close friend.  I was given a miracle as He mended my heart and filled me with hope once again.  The more time I have spent with Jesus, the more I have come to know Him and depend on Him.  He is the only One who can meet all of my needs and I am so grateful and blessed to be called His.  I am proof of His promises, and my prayer is that He will use me on this side of my story, to offer hope to those in the midst of theirs.  To challenge others with the question, “Are you in love with Jesus?” and to be given the gift of being an angel to them, as He once gave one to me.

With Love-   April

Proverbs 8:17     I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me.

  Having celebrated Valentine’s Day this past week, it is always a reminder to reflect on “love” at the forefront of my life.  I am not a huge fan of the commercialism of the day, but I do enjoy a date night with my husband, and coming up with a little gift to express love to our kids.

This year my husband surprised me with the choice of “Date A” or “Date B”. The catch was that I didn’t know what either date entailed.  I chose “A”, and little be-knowns to me the date included dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, and an evening at a marriage seminar our church was having where a famous author and speaker would be presenting. Kevin Leman was hilarious as he explained the differences between husband and wife. But there was also a serious underlying message in all that he spoke on as he explained God’s design for marriage, and the hope that is promised when couples make Jesus Christ the center of it all.

As Dr. Leman gave several examples of things he and his wife have done over the years to keep their marriage strong, I was reminded how much of deep love lies in all of the little things.  Yes the gifts over the years and the weekend getaways and such are always memorable- but I believe that it’s the little things that make all the difference over time.  Making the bed on the days that I work, offering to take the kids to school when he has a late start, bringing home flowers for no reason at all, holding my hand as we sit in church, pulling me over to him in the kitchen to give me a long hug, doing the dishes without being asked…..these are the things he does that makes my heart smile.

God, being not only Love Himself, but the author of love as well- shows us His little things if only we have open eyes throughout the day to see them.  The beauty of a snow fall, a colorful butterfly, sunrises and sunsets painted across the canvas of the sky, endless stars in a black night, a rainbow after a storm, a sleeping baby’s angelic face, the belly laugh of a child….these are all of the Father’s little gifts of love to His children- when our eyes and ears are open enough to notice.

Just as the Lord desires to show us His love every day, I want to be better at my effort in showing love to my husband.  It is easy to get caught up in the “to do’s” of  life and lose effort at loving each other well.  I am thankful for the chance this past weekend to receive a reminder that marriage at its best and its worst, takes work.  First in committing the relationship to the author of marriage Himself, and second putting the others needs above our own.  May we never lose sight of noticing or doing- the Little Things.

With love-  April

1 John 4:16

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us.  God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

 

 

There is a song- “More And More Of You”,  by Selah- that I just love.  It was one of those that made me think, and being the analytical type I appreciate when a song stirs me.

“…oh forgive us all for seeking your hand and not your face…..we want more and more, and more and more of you..”

The words convicted my heart when I first heard them as I started to think of how many times I go to the Father in prayer, asking for something.  Maybe it isn’t even material, but none the less it is most often seeking His hand! “Lord keep us safe.  Keep us healthy.  Provide for us.  Help me with this or that”…. the list is often endless.  Yes I always thank Him for all that He has given me and for the life that I am so blessed to have.  But what would happen if more often I approached my Heavenly Father simply Seeking Him?

I am reminded of my own children coming to me and almost incessantly demanding something from me! “Mom where are my socks?….mom I need money for my field trip….mom my throat hurts…mom can I spend the night?…mom I want to go to go here or there…mom…mom…mom!!!” It’s enough to drive me crazy sometimes! Does that mean that I don’t love my kids? On the contrary!! My kids mean the world to me and most of the time I love to give them what they are needing, or even give them what they are simply requesting.  But wouldn’t it be amazing sometimes to have them just want me for me?  Do we think that Jesus desires the same from His children?!

Please don’t mistake that I am saying that the Lord doesn’t want us to come to Him with our needs or even the desires of our hearts.  Our amazing Heavenly Father offers so many promises in His word telling us to do just that. But I am convicted to also pay attention to the times that I simply just go to His Throne and seek Him!

Period!

Isn’t He all we really need anyways?! Because of the Lords amazing grace, His love that is so long, wide, high, and deep we can’t even comprehend it, and His innate desire to know all of His children-  His Spirit fills us so full that we can’t help but want more and more of Him!  I believe it is when we simply bask in His glory at His feet, that we are blessed more than any other time in prayer.  Not asking.  Not whining.  Just seeking- More Of Him.

With Love-   April

Matthew 6:33     But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Deuteronomy 4:29   But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

 

One of the hardest things our Heavenly Father commands is forgiveness.  Forgiveness never comes in a package that is easy to open.  It is often wrapped with heartache, deep pain, anger, resentment, offense, and at times even broken lives.  It takes great effort and strength to open it.  And in some circumstances, forgiveness will even seem humanly impossible.

This is where the Lord’s supernatural strength and power will need to be called upon.

Forgiveness is never asked of us because it is easy.  It took our Lord giving us His one and only son Jesus, to be HIS ultimate sacrifice for OUR sin.  The most perfect, unblemished, spotless and undeserving man in all of creation.  Jesus was the most unlikely suspect to be crucified upon that cross for the forgiveness of all of humanity.  Never with sin, yet He took on all of ours. And yet this is the very reason why God chose him!  There was nothing easy about His choice, and there is nothing easy about ours either.

Forgiveness is a choice.

With the many emotions we are gifted with as humans, it is easy to make life’s decisions based on them. But forgiveness is one of those things that human feeling will never surrender to.  At least not in those hardest moments in life.  It will only be unleashed with the help of Jesus, and over time, He will transform that choice into healing.  We are called to forgive in ALL circumstances we are offended in, because He forgives us in ALL of ours.  God’s word says that we must forgive others sin or He will not forgive us.  “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:15  The Lord would never have said this if it was an impossible task. But we must value the sacrifice given us, in our own forgiveness of sin. The cost of our sin took the very life of God’s son, yet He gave Him anyways. ALL of us guilty as charged.

I have experienced at least one instance in my life when offering forgiveness seemed impossible!  It felt as though I had been wounded beyond repair, and I had emotions flowing throughout my body that I never knew were possible! But I feared God’s unforgiveness more than I did those feelings, and I chose to trust Him at that moment and make the hardest choice I have ever made.  With deep gratitude in my heart for what Christ had done to give me His forgiveness, I asked Him to help me forgive another.  I am convinced that it was only because of this, that I was healed. Healing is only found in the blood of Jesus.

Unforgiveness festers and grows, giving birth to even more anger, hurt, and negative emotion. It makes our heart sick. Unable to love others as we are made to love. Sometimes we even hold unforgiveness towards ourselves, but it is all the same in our Father’s eyes.  We are just as loved as those who have trespassed us, and the Lord will unleash His power not only to help us make the choice to forgive, but to free us and HEAL like we never imagined possible.

With Love-  April

Colossians 1:13-14

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

 

I have heard happiness mentioned many times when people are asked what is wanted most in life.  This is especially true when I hear parents talking about this in requards to their children.  We all just want our kids to have a good education, be successful, and be happy.

If being happy is such a common goal in our world today, why is it that happiness isn’t mentioned even once in the Bible, but the word “joy” is  mentioned over 200 times.  Is there a difference between happiness and joy? I believe that happiness is a deceiving standard created by our culture.  We are lead to believe that if only this or that, fill in the blank, we will be happy.  But being happy is a mere feeling.  And as human beings with the gift of emotions, we know that feelings are fleeting and can change from one minute to the next.

God, being the Maker of our souls knows what is best for us.  Our Saviors’ definition of joy goes much deeper than a simple feeling.  We are called to be joyful not only in good times, but also in suffering.  Ouch!! This one is tough!  God wants our hearts to be so centered in Him that the joy He gives is not waivering, but a constant in our lives.

Joy is a mysterious gift that the Lord gives us as it reaches deep into the abyss of our soul.  No person or circumstance can take this gift away. Because of sin in our fallen world, we will all be blindsided with suffering at some point in our lives.  But God’s love is so great that He doesn’t want our happiness to be ever changing and unpredictable.  He gives us Joy to fill us much deeper and carry us through all seasons in our lives- despite our circumstances that are constantly changing and fleeting.

One day we will meet Jesus face to face and our joy will be complete! Where it will no longer be a fight to hang onto the gift-  Joy will just be!!

There have been times in my life where I have wrestled with this battle for joy in my circumstances.  A few years ago, a circumstance happened in my life that rocked me to my core. As I fell hard and fast into the dark pit of devastation,  I learned to trust Him deeper than I had ever needed to before, and I felt His joy and peace in my heart even during the storm.

I can honestly say now that I truly and intimately know my Lord-  Oh how I await that glorious day!!  When I will live in eternity with Him and there will no longer be circumstances that try to rob my joy! Until then, I will thankfully embrace the joy that He paints in my heart, and fight to hang on to His gift when life attempts to sell me the lie that happiness is the answer.

With Love-   April

Psalm 16:11

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore

As the kids are back in school after a fun filled, exhausting, yet momentous holiday break, I feel like my New Year can finally begin.  It always feels so box like and cliché when I come upon a new year of life and face the task of writing out some resolutions I would like to achieve in the months ahead of me.

I loved the message I heard at church a few weeks back about this very thing.  The pastors’ suggestion on making goals for the New Year was to first discover who we want to be and then decide what we want to do.  This really hit home in my heart and challenged me to think about the things that really matter in my life.

Each year my mind races with new possibilities, goals, and aspirations- however thoughts of stress, worry, and overwhelming pressure quickly rush to the finish line and eventually choke them out! I would say I am a bit of a perfectionist.  Please don’t mistake this for perfection! I fall short of my own expectations every day.  But by the grace of God- literally- we are all His works in progress.  His masterpiece that He continues to paint and refine if we allow Him to, until our final breath is given and we are made perfect in Heaven before Him some day!

I would have to say that my life mirrors this internal struggle for perfection. I feel as though I  can only catch my breath when everything is finally in its proper place.  If you walk into our home, for the most part, things are picked up and put away.  In the downstairs at least! I can’t stand dishes left in the sink, or shoes and cups lying around.  I joke with my husband about having some OCD in me.  When things appear out of place I have this deep need to put them back or straighten them up. A little nuts I know!! But on those very rare days when the whole house is clean all at once, I feel like I have arrived! A little piece of Heaven on Earth!!

Having this Type A personality while being a mom of four, drove me very close to insanity – no seriously! When I could relate almost daily to Jessie Spano’s nervous breakdown!  (I still have those moments every now and then) I realized that I needed to let some things on the “to do” list go.  It has been this strive for perfection in my life where I struggle most.  Not only in our home, but in my spiritual life as well.  Always feeling under the gun or one step behind.  You know, “ There is just never enough time!”…..to all of us ‘Saved By the Bell’ kids! 🙂

It is so natural each year for us to strive for perfection.  We desire to Be perfect. From our skin, to our bodies, and on to things more material like our clothes, house, cars, or even our kids.  But how perfect do these things leave us on the inside? And the bigger question I have asked myself is what difference do any of these things make in the legacy I want to leave when I am gone? Will my kids say that my body was flawless or my kitchen cabinets were perfectly organized if I died tomorrow? Or will they say that I was a selfess mom who loved them and the Lord- with all her heart, soul, and mind.

Our Heavenly Father cares about our hearts.  The innermost point of our spirit where He resides, or for some- where He still longs to call home.  Jesus is the only one who sees through all of the flaws and clutter, and despite it all He loves us anyways!  He loves the messes, imperfections, the scars, and even the wounds that may still be oozing.  It is in these imperfect places that He knows we depend on Him most.

So my number one resolution for this New Year is to strive to be His light to all those around me.  To love the Lord first, and my husband and kids second.  I can only love them best when it is in this order, and I know that despite my shortcomings I will be most complete and perfect as I grow closer to Jesus.  I pray to be intentional with my husband and my kids, and strive to enjoy all of life’s imperfect moments- in hopes that when that final day comes some day, there will never be a doubt in my family’s minds as to whether or not I cared more about who I was, than what I had done.

With love-  April

Philippians 3:12-15

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

When God created man He did not write sin into His story.  God being all knowing however, He still wrote into His plan for mankind- the gift of free will.  He would let them choose their path, and then because of His unsurpassing love, ask only one thing in return- Obedience.

As a parent, I can relate to this love in God’s parenting through obedience.  I believe that many people have a negative perception of God in this.  He is often viewed of being a condemning God who loves to tell us what not to do and then strike us down when we choose one of the forbidden things on the list.  When I became a mom, I finally understood the Father’s love in the form of His desire for obedience from His children.  I don’t tell my children not to run into the street because I want to keep them from fun, or discipline them for hurting one another because I enjoy seeing them suffer.  Every single life lesson….seemingly endless as they are!…is for my children’s own good.  It is my job as a parent, to protect and teach my kids how to behave in a manner that will keep them safe and allow them to have the best life possible.  It is out of my wholehearted love for them that I expect this obedience, because it is only within these boundaries that I know they are kept safe.

This same request for obedience comes from our Heavenly Father.  When Adam and Eve were given free will, they chose to take the one fruit from the garden that God had told them not to.  It was the consequence of  this disobedience that the historical death by sin to all humans occurred. Because of Adam (and Eve’s) sin, we were all born into this same struggle to obey God.

Despite our shortcomings, His incomprehensible love gave us a second chance at eternity with Him.  Our Heavenly Father wrote into His story another man-who would provide a way to erase this death through sin and become life to all.  Jesus. This is the amazing grace of our Maker. To sacrifice His only son, and bring us back to Him.

Disobedience of 1 man= death to all

Obedience of 1 man= life to all

It is at the Cross that this transformation from sin to life is birthed.  The most beautiful transformation of human life given to us as a free gift from the Father himself.  Forgiveness. Chris Tomlin wrote a song about the illustration of the transformation at the Cross of Jesus Christ.  We must first surrender in obedience to our Lord when we make the decision to approach the Cross.  And it is in this beautiful surrender that we are given His free gift of forgiveness, as He washes us clean  and gives us new life.  “Where His love runs red, and our sins washed white…” (Chris Tomlin)

I too, am in awe of Him!

With love- April

 

Romans 5:18-21

Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.  For just as through disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous. The law was added so that the trespass might increase.  But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me”…..John 10:27

Whose voice do we listen to?  We are all influenced by many people and things in our culture.  It’s part of human nature.  What do we choose our influence to be though? Our friends, celebrities, keeping up with the latest fads or things of “value” in the world’s eyes?  When faced with decisions in our lives, there are many times that what we choose will lead us down two very different paths.  Sometimes the  decision will even be life altering to us or to others.  There was a phrase that was re birthed in the 90’s when Janie Tinklenberg, a youth leader in Michigan, challenged her teens to ask themselves, “What Would Jesus Do?” before all decisions they made.  Today we know the phrase better as “WWJD.”  It has become one of the most well- known Christian slogans, if you will, as tens of thousands of items are now sold bearing those initials.

Asking ourselves what Jesus would do is the first step in making decisions in our lives.  But the second piece, and perhaps the even greater one, is to then listen for His voice and follow where He leads.  Jesus’ words didn’t end with His sheep listening to Him.  He went on to say that He knew them and they followed Him.  If He is in our hearts, we will actually hear Him as He whispers that still small voice to our soul. But we must know Him to know what His voice sounds like.  And to know the Lord, it is essential that we spend time with Him and have His Word imprinted in our minds and in our hearts.  The more we know Christ, the closer we draw towards Him- and His voice will be known as an indescribable peace we feel deep within.

As our Shepherd, Jesus paid the ultimate price when He laid down His life for His sheep.  God didn’t write that as His conclusion though- praise Him for that!  He is alive at the right hand of the Father as He sits on the throne today.  He still remains our Shepherd and longs for each one of us to know Him and allow Him to lead us.  It is vital for sheep to listen for the Shepherd’s voice so that they will remain safe and away from the danger that lurks all around.  I am so amazed at how His voice has led me down some of the hardest and yet the most beautiful paths in my life.  I would most definitely be lost and injured without Him.  My prayer is for each of us to know Jesus and recognize His voice so that we can abide in His protection and live out the amazing plans He has in store for us!

With Love-   April

John 10:27-28

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.

Hope is most mentioned in times of desperation.  A word that is spoken as a last resort for many of us.  When life leaves us hanging by a thread, it is this mere four letter word that can sustain us from falling into the deep abyss of despair.  What makes hope so powerful?

As believers, we must believe in the unseen.  This is very different than the worlds’ reality of existence.  You cannot have faith or hope, without trusting that something exists or will exist that is not yet seen.

Romans 8:24   ….”But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?”

When I read this verse the other day, I was left pondering how amazing our God is! Our Heavenly Father is so much greater than the worlds’ simple explanation of things.  The world believes that only when something is tangible or proven scientifically, then it exists or is made possible.  But the Bible teaches that if you can see it, what hope is there in that?! Anyone can believe or hope for what is seen.  But as believers, we are not called to believe in the easy or to hope effortlessly.  In Romans 4:18 it says..” Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the Father of many nations, just as it had been said to him.” How amazing is our God, that He uses our hope in the impossible, to bless us abundantly and impossibly! This is the kind of God we serve!

I believe that hope is one of many precious gifts we are blessed with as believers.  Abraham did not waiver through unbelief regarding the promise of God that he and his wife Sarah’s withered bodies, who were 90 and over 100, would conceive a child.  And scripture says that he was strengthened to do what was promised to him, because he merely believed and trusted God.  What amazing things would the Lord allow in our lives if we just had enough faith in Him to hope for the impossible and believe His word to be true!! Our greatest hope is not in this life but in the promise of eternity with our Father in Heaven someday.  But He loves us enough to want His best for our lives in the here and now as well, and God’s word is full of promises to give us life abundantly if we just have hope and faith in Him!

With Love-   April

Isaiah 40:31

…but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.

 

I am honored to introduce to you all today, Abisha Robinson from Going Beyond Ministries.  If you are not familiar with it, Going Beyond is led by Priscilla Shirer.  Priscilla has written several amazing books and she travels all over the world speaking the word of God.  Most recently, she starred in the movie The War Room- a must see! I have read several of Priscilla’s books and love to listen to her podcasts online.  Since I believe all things are God breathed, I won’t say that it was by chance that I stumbled upon Priscilla’s blog a few months ago, and read this amazing post by one of her Executive Assistants- Abisha.  It was the most beautiful blog post I had ever read, and I was so touched by it that it became a seed that inspired me to begin my own journey in writing.  With her blessing, I am so happy to share that post with you today.  My request is that you visit Going Beyond Ministries and check out Priscilla Shirer, Abisha, and the other amazing women who are ministering all over the world with their work!

www.goingbeyond.com

With love~ April

 

 

CONSIDER IT PURE JOY

Abisha | Jun 25, 2015

If I can be honest, I don’t like the process.

The process that puts me in less than comfortable situations where I’m forced to come to the end of myself. The process that calls for me to bend and stretch beyond my comfort zone while He strategically preps me for His zone.

I’ve been known to fill my agenda with finding my own way using self reliant methods that have led me from dead ends to wrong turns creating the very mountains and barriers that keep me from knowing the intimate places of His heart.

There’s been a collection of trenches that I have dug to stow away solutions to the very circumstances that only He can provide. Times where I refused to loosen my grip on the very things that He wants me to simply let go of so that I may see the abundance that He is keeping for me.

I’m not a fan of being prepped for greater, or the lack of certainty that puts me in a tailspin of anxiety where I resort to cowering instead of holding on tighter to my faith, falling on my face, and surrendering all that I am for all that He is.

So, If I can be honest, transparent, and downright blunt in this moment, sometimes trusting the process, His process, IS JUST TOO HARD.

…it is in the process that He shows me all that He wants me to know about who He is.TWEET

Excuse me while I pick myself up from the tantrum that I just had.

I must say, however, the Lord is revealing to me that, as much as I dislike the process, it is in the process that He shows me all that He wants me to know about who He Is. It’s where He meets my very needs, where He uses my brokenness for greatness, and where I surrender all of me in exchange for all of He.

The place where He takes these broken, tattered pieces of me, and mends it all together, restoring me into something and someone much stronger. He leaves me with my figurative scars only to remind me of the spiritual tussles that have left me blessed, but disabled of ever thinking so much of myself that I don’t feel the deep need to trust the process and even more so in my Heavenly Father.

He’s showing me that His process is where He gives me pieces of my purpose and glimpses of His Glory.

So although my flesh loathes the process, my spirit thrives in the process.

My spirit leaps for joy with anticipation awaiting what’s to come. The Holy Spirit reassures me that the pressure that’s being applied is only meant to grow me, restore me, and to bring God glory.

The Spirit knows that within this mess of me He has planted seeds to birth the best me. Seeds that can only grow when my soil is turned and prepped for the very environment where God’s love and His purpose collide with the surrendered me.

The process. Or as I call it, the place where Jesus brings broken me, unimpressive me, and sometimes disobedient little ol’ me to my knees and at His feet. It is in this place that I am never the same.

So, my hope is that I learn to wholeheartedly welcome the processes that God presents. That I can simply smile when my wardrobe of joy warrants the confused stares of those who merely see my circumstances during the processes that may seem less than ideal. My prayer is that I learn to love the process because it is in the process through my obedience and surrender that He reveals the grand details of His plans for my life. And friend, I want a front row seat each time it happens.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

James 1:2-4 The Message (MSG)

Until next time friend,

Abisha

 

So I have to laugh at where the inspiration came for this post.  I’m a little embarrassed that my dirty ceiling fans were noticeable enough for me to think on this analogy.  So bear with me…..As I was tidying up the house before having a friend over for coffee the other day, I had the back door open and noticed the ceiling fan was on.  Here in Arizona, we pretty much leave the fans on year round to keep our many warm days cooler.  The newly pleasant chill of November brings me such joy that I can finally open the windows and doors!  But as I thought of my girlfriend coming over, I wondered if it would be a bit much for her to have the cold outside air breezing in along with the overhead fan blowing down.  I went to hit the switch for the fan and stopped…..she is going to notice the dust bunnies piled up on the fan blades!! I can’t stop it unless I plan on cleaning it!

Isn’t this a little like us sometimes? We are so busy with life spinning all around us that we can become immune to the act of being still.  For some of us, we even keep busy with great intent-to numb the pain- or better yet to keep others from seeing our dirt.  We bury ourselves in our work, our kids, hobbies, social media, whatever it takes to keep our plates spinning and our minds turned on.  If we don’t stop, maybe no one will notice.  But how long can we really keep going?  And are we actually hiding anything, especially from our Savior.

Stillness is the place where our Heavenly Father makes our dirt clean.  How can He wash us white as snow, if we don’t stop long enough to and ask Him to?  Without allowing our minds to find stillness for a moment with Jesus, He cannot speak to us and renew our souls.  We are allowing our sin to dig deeper and our pain to fester when we try to cover them up with motion.  One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 46:10-    Be still and know that I am God.  It is in the quiet and intentional stillness that our Lord will fill our soul with His peace and love.  We must position ourselves to receive Him though.  I am learning that I desire stillness with God the busier life gets, because it is only with Him that the craziness finds His perfect peace.  The Lord is the only One who will truly take us as we are- dirt, dust bunnies, and all- without needing to be cleaned up first.  The question is, will we stop long enough to allow Him to?

With love~~ April

Isaiah 26:3-4

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind remains focused on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

I’m so excited to be guest posting today at godsizeddreams.com! Feel free to check out their site and read my post or you can also read it here….

With love-  April

Today

November 18, 2015 By Guest 2 Comments

 

I met with an old friend the other day and left our conversation with a thought that kept me pondering.  As a wife, mom, friend, daughter- whoever we are to those in our lives- the people in our circle often take something from us.  Whether it’s our time, our resources, or our emotions, our like or even love for them isn’t enough to sustain us.  We can feel drained as their needs leave us on empty.  For many of us, we have found ourselves at one time or another even feeling so empty we have nothing left to give.

I am learning on this journey of faith that the only one who gives unconditionally expecting nothing in return,  is Jesus Christ. The more I ask of Him, the more He gives.  There are times I have cried out to Him and moments I have sat exhausted at His feet, but reguardless of what I lay before Him, I am left with His ever present love still filling me up.  God can take whatever we have to bring to Him- in all of our moments.  He is big enough to handle the screams, the questions, the tears- whatever we need to lay before Him.  He is the maker of the Heavens and the Earth and there is No thing He cannot handle! God’s word says that there is nothing that can separate us from His love, and it is in this promise that His grace makes my unworthiness beautiful.

The more I have come to experience the Lord’s grace, the less I am afraid of bringing all of me to Him.  It seems the emptier I have been, the greater my need becomes for Him, and this is no surprise to our Heavenly Father.  So I lay whatever is bidding my thoughts before Jesus each day- and He fills me with His unconditional love, His peace that transcends all understanding, and I walk away feeling full once again.

It is in His fullness that the missing pieces of me are regained and I have what is needed again to love and care for those around me.  My prayer is that His love will shine through me in this process and lead others to also be filled by the only One who can make each of us whole- Jesus.

With love~~  April

Ephesians 3:16-19

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I am a mother of four.  It was my hearts’ desire from early childhood to be a mom.  I played endlessly with dolls while I made believe I was their mommy, and loved to care for them, feed them, change them, and fix their hair.  As I grew older and it was no longer “cool” to play with dolls, I came upon the age that I could babysit real babies and children.  I still loved to take care of them and play with them, just as I had the baby dolls of my youth.

Many years later I was blessed by Almighty God to become a REAL mom.  To have my own babies, toddlers, and now young children and even a pre-teen!- to care for and love.  It didn’t take long after bringing home my first baby, to realize that this experience was a lot different from the way I had imagined it as a little girl! It was the most humbling and awe-inspiring time of my life thus far to stare at this amazing and perfect little human being that depended on me for life itself. Yet at the same time it took my breath away to think that I was responsible for this little person that I held in my arms.

To care for and love my children has become the easiest part about being a mom.  The child rearing, discipline, and teaching them how to see the world through the eyes of Jesus- this is the real challenge.  Each day there are endless life lessons that I have to consciously choose to teach them in the context of our Savior.  To try and explain why Jesus doesn’t give the homeless people a house, why there are bad people in the world who hurt others, why a child in their class tells them that Jesus isn’t real and there is no God….there are endless questions like these that they ask as they look up at me with childlike faith.  I tell them that I don’t have all the answers, but I try and teach them about the ones the Bible clearly does.

And then last night as the 6 of us came together to do our “Family Night Pray”……Our 6 year old prayed before his Jesus for all the homeless people to have beds, and all the bad people to not be bad anymore, and for his classmate Hailey (who argues with him that God is not real) to start to believe in Him and to read the Bible… And it was all I could do to hold back the tears that welled up in my closed eyes as I felt an indescribable love for my children.  I felt an indescribable love for my Maker.  And I felt such gratitude to be given the gift of being their mom and to know that they are listening.  My work day in and day out within the walls of our house are leading our kids towards Jesus.

~And this is the greatest gift of all about being their Mom~

 

With Love-   April

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

 

 

Have you ever reached the top of a mountain in your life, when you suddenly developed a sense of panic as you asked yourself,  “What now?!”  You have prayed fervently maybe even years for a change, a dream, a heart’s desire, and your moment of answered prayer has finally come!  After much sweat and exertion and battle through faith and trust- you have finally reached the top.  You are ecstatic!!…..at first…..and then you have this moment of realization settle in your soul.  You feel yourself let go and the view is priceless.  But where do you go from here?

We become closer to the Lord and our faith is strengthened as we lift up our prayers and learn to trust God to answer in His ways, and not always what we are asking Him for.  We realized many steps back during this journey, that we have no control over our circumstances outside of His will for us. And so we lifted our hands and hearts and spent endless moments surrendering to Him and trusting that He would bring into our lives whatever He knew was best for us.  It was during these moments that we felt a closeness with God.  We serve a Father who loves His children more than we can love even our own- hard to imagine I know.  He desires the best for each of our lives.  His best.  So when we get a chance to experience His best within the confines of answered prayer, it feels amazing!  He has brought us to the top of the mountain!

The fear that can stir up inside us though during such an elated moment, comes when we realize that much of our prayer time and thought processes were consumed with what we were summoning Jesus for.  Now that He has allowed it to come to fruition- if we aren’t careful, we are tempted to fall back into life and take our eyes off of Him.  It can become easy to move forward in our own strength and allow life to busy us with everything but spending time with Jesus.  It’s easy to forget about our dependence on the One who allowed us to get there in the first place.  I believe we have to fight almost harder than we did on our journey up the mountain, to keep our eyes fixed on Him at the peak of it. To continue to summon God’s best, His will and plan for our lives.  It is during this time at the top, that life can easily fall back into a routine and we must fight to remain close with Him. Wars are not won when the opponents remain stagnant between battles.  This is a time when great effort and training is required to keep warriors strong and prepared for what lies ahead.

Praise him for answered prayers, and then stand firm and fight to remain strong in your walk with the Lord. Life’s journey will have many mountains ahead, and we never know when we will be called to climb up an even greater summit!

With love~  April

1 Samuel 12:24

Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart.  For consider what great things He has done for you.

I was raised in a Christian home.  We went to church every Sunday and my dad was even a key player in the worship ministry.  God had always seemed to be a part of my life.  I remember accepting Jesus into my heart around the age of 7 or 8 with a close friends’ mom.  We moved states when I was 9, and it wasn’t until junior high/high school that I remember questioning if I was really saved.  I was baptized in high school when the new church we became a part of questioned my dad’s theology that you didn’t have to be baptized to be saved.  So- our family was baptized.

 I fell in love with my best friend near the end of high school.  I knew he would someday be my husband.  He too was raised attending church and youth group regularly.  We were married by his lifelong pastor who was very near and dear to him.  We said our vows with intentions of making Christ our center, but I would say we lived as luke-warm Christians.

 It wasn’t until the first near tragedy struck my life, that I learned what it felt like to truly intercede for Christ’s presence in my circumstances. My dependence on Him suddenly became very real.  My water broke at 23 weeks gestation with our first baby.  It hit home utterly painful because I knew first hand what the outcome would most likely be. I was a neonatal intensive care nurse.  I knew that this was the earliest a baby could be saved, and even at that- the chances not only for survival were low, but the normal healthy life we dream of for our children, was also inevitably against the odds if she survived. Faith and trust took on a whole new meaning that day.  Over the next week, the Lord intervened when He mended the sac that the hole had torn in and allowed my body to nourish our baby girl for 13 more weeks as I lay flat in bed.  It was during those long and daunting days that I learned to trust in Him. I read my Bible for the first time in my life, at least with any consistency.  She was born healthy and whole and my faith grew more than it had ever been given a chance to during those 3 months on bed rest.

I was blessed with a seemingly painless life over the next 8 years – until my marriage almost ended and I was thrown into the pit of unbearable pain. It was in this pit that I discovered Jesus like I had never known Him before.  A reliance on Him for my literal breath I consciously had to work at. The only peace I felt was when He was at the forefront of my mind, heart, and soul.  My Heavenly Father’s embrace was all that held me up.  Before this time, I knew of Him.  It was during this time however, that I came to really Know Him.  Not just God who I knew existed and I loved and who loved me.  Not the God who others talked about so personally with the testimonies that they shared when He wrote their stories.  But in this pit of despair, I came to know Him so deeply that He and I became one.  He became so much a part of me that I could never remove Him from my center.

My restored marriage became my testimony.  Proof that miracle’s still do exist. I feel incredibly blessed to have Jesus Christ  paint one in my own and very personal story. I have discovered that I have come to know Him best in my most painful moments of life- in ways I would have never known Him otherwise.  And I can honestly say on this side of things I wouldn’t change a single one of those circumstances, because it was the pain that drove me into the arms of my Heavenly Father, and my faith has been forever transformed.

With love-   April

2 Corinthians 1:8-9

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so what we despaired even of life.  Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead!

In a world filled with so much “darkness”, I find myself cynical at times as I ask the question, “How in the world do I to teach my kids to be a light for Jesus”? With the removal of God from our schools, businesses, politics, the foundation that our country was even founded on, how do we fight back?  It can feel hopeless when we battle these changes as adults, much less try and imagine how our children and grandchildren will someday reap the consequences.

As I took my boys to a new Christian movie that had come out last week, I had this light bulb moment as the theater grew dark and the previews concluded.  The room was full of guests, all awaiting a public showing of a movie that they knew would stand for Christ.  I recalled my childhood and even as recent as the last 5 years, and I couldn’t remember having watched a single Christian movie in the theaters. Yet in this past year, we have taken our kids to 4 of them.  Then I thought about Christian radio and the many artists that stand their platform for the Lord, strong and proud- and Public!  I was reminded that I didn’t have that as a child either.  In high school youth group there had been a few artists that we may have listened to, but only if you owned their CD or heard one of their songs played at church. (I know right?…that makes me feel ancient!)

 I was being convicted.

How amazing is it that our kids are actually growing up in a culture where Christian radio, music, and movies are almost as common as the secular ones. Maybe my perception of the absence of Jesus in our culture has been jaded.  My heart smiled at this new realization of how open and known our Savior can actually be in the public eye. I am newly hopeful for the world that I am raising my children in as I see how Jesus can be made known if we just teach our kids how to stand for Him.  With the voices of Christian music in our homes, our cars, and on all of our “I” devices- their little ears are hearing.  When we take them to movies with moral messages, their little eyes are seeing.  And by teaching them the love of God and His word, their little hearts are receiving.  God’s love can’t be darkened, and when our kids are surrounded by it, His light can’t help but shine through them and into our dark world. What a responsibility we have as parents to be the teachers of their souls, as we get to watch what our Lord does when He lights their paths and makes His imprint on His creation- with them!

With Love-  April

Matthew 5:14-16

“You are the light of the world.  A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone who is in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and praise your Father in Heaven.

I’m not sure what it is about Christian music that speaks so near and dear to my heart.  Just like reading God’s word over and over again and each time He speaks something new and different within the same verse or passage- Christian music often does the same.  Maybe it’s our Heavenly Father speaking that still small voice to our soul.  Telling us whatever we are needing to hear from Him in that moment.

I have heard the song “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns many times.  But recently as I was driving and heard the song on the radio, the words hit me like I was hearing them for the first time and literally brought tears to my eyes.  They painted such a beautiful picture of how we try and hold on with such strength when life gets tough.  It takes everything in us to fight through pain, disappointment, depression, stress, uncertainty, anxiety- but no matter how hard we hold on, our strength is zapped and often times the feelings remain unchanged.

God wants us to depend on Him.  We were never intended to trudge through this life during challenging times, on our own.  He desires so deeply for each of His children to draw near to Him and just let our Heavenly Father hold us.  I know that personally as I have had these moments in life hit me unexpectedly, I am guilty of trying to maintain control and fight on my own with everything in me.  But even if I try and pray through it and beg God to answer those prayers, I have found that it is not until I surrender it ALL to Him-when I really let go- that He picks me up and holds me. He fills me with His peace that transcends all understanding, and takes my face in His hands.  Jesus looks me in the eyes and reminds me that He is still on the throne.  Just as Peter was called out of the boat by Jesus and asked to trust Him and walk to Him on water, He calls us to come to Him during our moments of doubt and asks us to really trust Him.

This is how our faith grows.  The God of the Universe that spoke the world into existence is also the Lord of Lords that holds our lives in His hands.  Even when we don’t understand why He has allowed the circumstances surrounding us to be a part of our story, He is still our Savior who rose from the dead and sits at the right hand of The Father.  He loves us. God Is Love! He knows what’s best for us and He will bring beauty out of the ashes if we just let Him hold us and have control. He wants us to surrender it all to Him and trust that He is working it out for our good and His glory.  He will bring us through to the other side and our lives will never be the same.  We will have experienced Him deeper than we ever knew was possible and we can even become grateful for the trials from our yesterdays.

With Love-   April

Isaiah 63:9

In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.

Being thankful.  It feels right to start thinking about the things we are thankful for, entering into the season of fall.  Soon, most of us will be gathered around a table sharing a meal and eating way too many calories than we care to admit! It feels easy to think on the many blessings we have in our lives when things seem to be uneventful.  When hearts are happy and life feels comfortable.

What about thankfulness when hearts are sad, days are exhausting, and hope is non-existent? The Bible teaches to be thankful in all seasons.  Ouch!  That stings a little.  How can God ask us to be thankful when so many unimaginable things go on in our sin filled world? When tragedy strikes the innocent or our lives feel like we are running around in circles, never able to catch a break.

True thankfulness needs to rise above our circumstances.  Just as offering forgiveness sometimes must be out of choice rather than a feeling, I believe that being thankful heeds the same effort at times in our lives.  We have all either faced difficult moments in our past, are currently wading in the waters of them, or unfortunately will someday stumble upon one.  But our Heavenly Father knows better than to ask us to be thankful- sometimes.  Because we are His creation, made in the image of Himself, the God of the Universe knows us well.  God knows that if we only offer Him thanks when life seems good, we will fall deeper into the pit of self -pity and despair as we draw away from Him when times are not.  It is impossible to draw near to the Creator with ungratefulness in our hearts.  Like oil and water, we will naturally separate ourselves from Him if we associate our mere circumstances with His favor.

God so often gets the blame when we enter times like these in our lives.  It is easy to feel that He has betrayed us and we can acquire tunnel vision as we only see the walls around us and not the help that He has already called on the way. He longs to show us amazing blessing during all seasons in our lives.  It is during the times in our pit that He is trying to show us His face more than ever.  He is placing others in our path, circumstances that will aide, and healing like we have never known before if we just keep our eyes open and fixed on Him.  If we continue to offer Him praise and thanksgiving for merely His love, we can’t help but be filled with it.  We can be thankful for His presence as He carries us through those days, and know that our gratitude towards Him will actually become the very thing that lifts us out and gets us through.

With Love-   April

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus