For some reason, I often have feelings of guilt. Not guilt in a sense of doing something wrong, but in not being enough. Not a good enough mom or wife, not giving of my time enough, not being enough in a physical appearance kind of way…. Even in my faith- I have never doubted God’s love for me, but I can say that I often struggle with feeling like I am not good enough. I know God’s grace covers all of our short comings and that it is not the things that we “do” that can make us any better in God’s eyes. But it is such a struggle to feel satisfied with my imperfections and just believe in God’s acceptance of me, right where I am!
This probably all hits hardest this time each year. When the joy of the Holiday season is packed away, and goals of diet and exercise are done being thrown to the wayside with those amazing holiday cookies and pound cake. The clock strikes midnight and rings in the New Year, and suddenly the pressure to become “enough” presses down on me like weighted bricks. I want to pencil out all areas of my life, and strive for ways to improve and grow into a better me. But it never fails to bring that realization and whisper with it, that although I may succeed at reaching a few of my goals- it is inevitable that some will remain unmet or even harshly failed! The glass half empty mind-set I know, but real life just isn’t filtered! It’s stained, blemished, filled with mixed emotions, and simply imperfect!
This is why I love spending time with my Heavenly Father. It is only in my time alone with Him, that those whispers of not enough are drowned out with Truth. We are never enough in the world’s standards, but to the only One who matters- we became enough when Jesus Christ died on the cross for our imperfections! He erased the need for the “do’s” and rewrote them with the “are’s”. Who we ARE in Him! We ARE made new. We ARE made clean. And we ARE made Enough! Because Christ is perfect in me, I no longer have to be perfect on my own. I can make mistakes and I can forgive others in theirs. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
May I be more like Paul and come to the place that I can gladly boast about all of my weaknesses. But let it not stop there. He said…. “so that Christ’s power may rest on me”….. Because Jesus said that His power is made perfect in weakness, I can find peace in knowing that my imperfections are a blessing from God! I believe it is in our shortcomings, our failures, and our unmet goals- that God uses us for His plans and His purposes just like, and perhaps even at times more than, our successes and our victories. I want to face this New Year with both a mindset of becoming all Christ has created me to be, but also remembering that by His grace– His power is made perfect in my weaknesses– and therefore- I Am Enough!
With Love- April
Isaiah 40: 29-31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.